And if not, He is still good

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego are about to be set ablaze because the refuse to worship the golden image made by King Nebuchadnezzar. They know that they will be thrown into a fiery furnace if they do not bow down and worship this golden image yet their faith stands strong. 

Does my faith stand strong when my comfort and security is at risk? Do I stand confident that God will provide? Do I really trust that He is best and does best?

Some days are easier than others, some days I just want to throw myself a pity party with cupcakes and confetti. Inching towards 30 and not exactly where I planned to be in life. Actually, none of this is where I planed to be. But does this change the faithfulness of the Lord? Absolutely not! Do I always remember this truth? Absolutely not! In fact I often feel like He isn't hearing my cries for a husband and a family. Oh Lord, if this isn't something you want for me then take this desire away! But the desire doesn't budge. These are good things, marriage is good, family is good, but God is better. And even if one day He doesn't take the desire away but He says no, He will still be good. 

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego walked into that furnace knowing that God could save them, but even if He didn't He is still good. 

Spoiler: He does save them. 

More Precious than Jewels

I’ve been reading through the book of Ruth recently with daily devotionals on She Reads Truth. I’ve really enjoyed it and have found myself reading it over and over, actually to be honest it’s a 14 day study I’ve been re-reading for about 6 weeks now. 

Today I read (again) Ruth 1:19-21

So the two of them went on until they came to Bethlehem. And when they came to Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them. And the women said, “Is this Naomi?”  She said to them, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me.  I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?”

Up until this point Naomi had a rough decade or so, she lost her husband and then lost both of her sons. Her two daughter-in-laws, Orpah and Ruth, stayed with her until she decided to return to Bethlehem. At this point Orpah went back to her people and Ruth basically told Naomi that she isn’t going to get rid of her. V.18 “and when Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more.” 

When Naomi and Ruth returned to Bethlehem Naomi was so exhausted both physically and spiritually that she was almost unrecognizable to the townspeople. Naomi had lost her husband, sons and daughter-in-law, she had no hope of having grandchildren, no hope in life- she was empty. She tells the women in Bethlehem to not call her Naomi but to call her Mara because the Lord had dealt with her bitterly. She wasn’t blaming God in this but calling it how she felt and never once did she lose her faith but she was hurting and she was bitter. Her circumstance made her bitter, so she changed her name to reflect that. 

I think that often this falls into my sin of comparison and perfectionism and the names that I give myself, the names that I use to define me are far from the names my Father calls me. We often label ourselves as  too poor, too rich, too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, too shy, not bold enough, not intelligent enough, not clever enough, unworthy, unlovable, we allow our past circumstances to take control of the plans that the Lord has because we allow bitterness, resentfulness and anger build up in us. 

Comparison and perfectionism is a trap we all fall into. We give ourselves names like unworthy, and forget that we are created in the image of the God that created the universe (Genesis 1:27). We call ourselves unlovable but God loved us so much he sent his only son to die for us, for our sins (John 3:16). We believe our past is unforgivable but all have fallen short of the glory of God and He forgives us (Romans 3:23).  God calls us his sons and daughters (2 Corinthians 6:18), friend (John 15:15), justified and redeemed (Romans 3:24), set-free (Romans 8:2), a new creation (2 Cor 5:17), precious (Proverbs 3:15), and his heir (Romans 8:17).

I encourage to look beyond your circumstances, look beyond what society says you are and fight to know who God says you are. We have to stop comparing ourselves to the person next to us and instead rejoice in who God has created us each to be! Rejoice in the unique gifts He has given each of us! Rejoice in each other’s joyful moments! Rejoice that we are not named by our circumstances but by God who is good!

His plan is far better than mine

Last night I saw this article posted on Facebook about online dating and the church. Of course because this is a topic often talked about in my circles of friends it peaked my interest so I read it. It had some good points but also some things made me think. Read it for yourself

http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2015/january/church-set-up-your-singles.html?paging=off#bmb=1

Most of the conversations I have had with woman in the last year about online dating revolves around if it is a good idea or not and different experiences each person has had. "Will it be good for my heart? Should I spend the time, money and effort? What will other people think? I can't meet anybody at church so I have to resort to this. I'm tired of waiting so I'm just going to put myself out there." These are good conversations to be had, I think you need to let your community know where you are at during this life stage. I would say that 99.9% of the single people I know have the desire to be married one day so we need to talk about it, we need to encourage each other, we need to pray for one another and we need to remind each other that He is good enough and does what is best for us.

Stats say that there are 54,250,000 single people in the US and of that 41,250,000 have tried online dating. The average length of a courtship or marriage that has met online is 18.5 months while the average length of a courtship or marriage that has met in person is 42 months. Personally I think that is just sad, I can understand dating only averaging out to be amount of time but MARRIAGE? That's heartbreaking. So why even bother trying online dating if you want something that is going to last?

With all that being sad, have I tried online dating? Absolutely. Did it fail miserably? Most definitely. Was it good for my heart? Not at all. During the holiday season it is hard being single, there is no denying that. Another year of family members asking why you aren't dating, another year of nobody to celebrate holidays with, another year of seeing friend after friend get proposed to-only to think when is MY turn? I do not think that for me personally I should online date, I've said for a long time that I know that is not how I will meet my husband. But even in the times when I find myself to the most content in my singleness I will often question that. A conversation about online dating might spark the thought, "well, maybe I'm wrong, maybe I should try it since nothing else is happening". I would hope that my community, that's you, would tell me know and not let me resort to something that has proven to not be good for my heart. I do not think that online dating in inherently wrong but I do think you need to be cautious and wise. You do need to ask your community to hold you accountable and to check in with you to see how your heart is doing. It's easy to allow online dating to consume your life, to constantly be checking to see if you have a message or to see if someone has looked at your profile and when you log-in and see nothing, well that constant feeling of rejection can hurt.

Back to the article; I like the idea of encouraging married couples that we do community with to step in and help with introductions or set-up group things that could potentially allow your single friends to interact. I would love if someone was just like you and you-talk, date, marry. If only it were that simple. There needs to be caution in this though, in the article she says; "Be prayerful about setting up potential couples; don’t base the setup on what you assume they’d be attracted to, but on the godliness and maturity of the individuals." And I absolutely agree, don't just set up your two friends cause you know are single for the sake of them not being single anymore, there needs to be intentional prayer and thought put into it. Wouldn't that be what you want for you?

I would love to see the married couples in the church to come around singles, dating couples, and engaged couples and really invest in them not for the sake of making them married but to guide them and love them in a season that is often hard and confusing. Over and over again we hear the argument that it is the responsibility of the church (as in church leadership) to make that happen and I would disagree with that. I do not think it is the responsibility of the church to make an organized event or group for the people that are single. No, however it is their call to care for the people of their church and to shepard their hearts but it is our responsibility to serve and be in community with one another and potentially in that a relationship could be formed.

I'll end with this, in all of it we have to remember that we can not change God's plan for us. It doesn't matter if we miss out on the party that could possibly just maybe have our future spouse in attendance, it doesn't matter if we live in Dallas or if we move to China, or if we are in a woman's homegroup or a multi-gen,  the Lord has a plan for us and if we are obedient to him and trust that He really is who He says He is and that He wants what is good for us then our lives will turn out just as it has been planned for us. This is no easy thing to remember all the time, we need to encourage each other in this. Life doesn't start when you get married, life is happening now-all around you, push into the Lord and live your life for him.

"I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of, for to have been thought about, born in God's thought, and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking." C.S. Lewis

T

*Statistics can be found at this not so credible source: http://www.statisticbrain.com/online-dating-statistics/